Sunday, December 11, 2011

Dear Hollywood: You Piss Me Off

Dear Hollywood:

You pretentious, self-centered aggregation of massive egos, warped minds and hideously bloated selfishness; your profits are now in the toilet along with the tiny remnants of your soul. Finally. Your box office receipts are now below post-911 levels, accurately reflecting the sinking quality of your over-hyped product.

Historically, Hollywood has been exempt from financial disaster. When times are bad, people turn to fantasy and other types of entertainment so you prosper as others suffer. You produce what economists, and good critics I might add, call an inferior good. In the economic sense, it means that as the economy worsens, your sales increase. In the other sense, it simply means you under perform.

Now the economy is so dreadfully bad that even you cannot escape its clutching death grip of chromium steel. You deserve it. You raised money for the Chicago hack that now leads our nation. You overwhelmingly supported him and his left-leaning ideology as he ridiculed the beliefs and philosophy of middle America.
Hollywood Sign
Image via Wikipedia

When then-Senator Barack Obama described small-town Pennsylvanians as those who "cling to guns or religion or antipathy toward people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment", you applauded him. He was attacking your customers and you thought it was great. You dumbasses just raised more money for him.

The understudy you placed in the lead role of this nation can't even memorize the script. He's a teleprompter short circuit away from revealing his status as a talentless buffoon  - and then there are his actions. He knows economics like Ed Wood knows great cinema. Perhaps you will now pay attention, but quite frankly, I don't think you're that smart.

Let's turn to your overpaid on-screen employees, your representatives to the American people. Your "stars" have turned into soul-sucking black holes of selfish publicity whores with every known personality disorder and social disease - in the literal and possibly physical sense - known to mankind.

Your poster boy for self-indulgence, Alec Baldwin, is such an ass he can't even ride an airplane like a normal human being. He's allegedly an adult, yet he obviously needs a nanny to keep his public behavior above the level of a boorish adolescent. Sadly, he's not even an exception to what you allow people to do to themselves.

Do you not yet understand that when people choose where and how to spend their scarce, hard-earned money that they may not want to spend it in the presence of leftist mental dwarves like Will Ferrell, Jack Black or Tim Robbins? At least Robbins has some talent which is far more than any sane individual can say for Black or Ferrell. If you took away Black's eyebrows no one would be under the false impression that he could act himself into a waiter's job at Trader Vic's. As for Ferrell, the less said the better, though if you wanted to add "creepy" as a description, you would be accurate.

While I'm at it, do you people ever have any original ideas anymore? Your biggest hits originated as comic books written for 12 year-old boys. Your planet-wide scavenger hunt for "ideas" has devolved into a search for anything original from computer games, graphic novels, board games, and I'm sure cereal boxes are next. You then re-make them into movies so that you can attack the "enemies" of the left. Yet you can't figure out why people stay away.

Finally, in a testament as to how you have completely sold yourself into slavish worship of the progressives, you do not even complain that President Obama has done nothing to secure the rights to your product on the world market. Communist China openly steals your product and you stand mute because you are afraid to complain about the incompetent you worked so hard to place in the White House.

Think about this. For the past 40 years the American public has given you a free pass while you attacked our beliefs, our lifestyles and the things we love. To you, American Gothic begins with the Mojave Desert and extends to Manhattan. Your contempt for the vast majority of Americans, just like the low quality of your yawn-inducing pathetic attempts at entertainment, has become so apparent that it can no longer be ignored. I'm not alone in my beliefs or condemnation of your arrogance and hypocrisy.

What would happen, I wonder, if the Tea Party movement began to actively solicit support for a boycott of Hollywood and its products? Would you support Occupy Hollywood the way you supported Occupy Wall Street? You can't swing a dead-cat on a movie set without hitting a liberal multi-millionaire. This might be a good place to demonstrate just how hypocritical you really are.


Ken Carroll
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  1. Ken, don't hold back. Tell us what you really think.

  2. Jim,

    Maybe next time. I'm still desperately trying to be a lovable, cuddly Teddy bear. Am I failing? :-)


  3. This article describes perfectly my attitude toward Hollywood. I will not spend one DIME on any actor, director, or producer that attacks my beliefs. Why would I? A wonderful article that explicitly describes how most of us outside of the left feel. Excellent article Mr. Carroll. Very well stated.

  4. Anonymous,

    Thanks much for the kind words. If I knew who you were I'd thank you personally. Anyway, don't be a stranger.

    Thanks again,


  5. As you aptly pointed out almost all the "big hits" lately have been remakes. I was appalled when they remade Walking Tall, disgusted when they remade True Grit and now in total disbelief that they are remaking Red Dawn.

    I've been boycotting anything with pukes like Jane Fonda, George Clooney, Will Ferrell, Barbara Streisand and other freedom hating,left-wing nut jobs like them in it for years now. I will not give them money to use against me. Great article Ken I just hope more people continue to get on board.

  6. Thanks, Brian. I appreciate it.

    I didn't know about the Red Dawn remake. That was a great movie and I shudder to think of what they can do to it.

    The original Manchurian Candidate was a great movie. The remake of a few years ago changed the villain from the communists to (I was told because I did not watch it) a corporation. Strange and disgusting.


  7. I don't know, I think the problem has less to do with the economy and lefty actors and more to do with (a) DVD and BluRay and streaming video on large tvs make for a nicer/cheaper experience than theaters (b) The movies are all remakes or sequels or crap.

    The few original, exciting, event movies will still do well but I imagine even hardcore Adam Sandler fans can wait a couple months to see Jack and Jill for free from netflix (and have no witnesses)

  8. I'd say the market is ripe for a conservative group to start putting together a few movies using the few Republican actors. Make the movies good, the Americans the good guys, and you'd likely do well.

  9. I don't disagree that DVD and BluRay have some effect, but these are not technologies that emerged on the past 12 months. In addition, NetFlix just doubled their rates, for practical purposes.

    What Hollywood must hope for is that not-going-to-the-movies becomes a pattern for couples.

    thanks for the thoughtful comments!

  10. It's interesting that you mentioned conservative movies. There is, in my home state of Georgia, a church that has produced several well-received movies - "Facing the Giants" and "Fireproof" are examples - and they have been very well received.

    With new technology, it's less expensive to make acceptable, quality movies if you don't have "stars" though Kirk Cameron volunteered his time for this group.

    "Blind Side" is another good quality film that was very family oriented.

    Honestly, I'm a sucker for a good film, but it does have to be good. Bad movies are literally a waste of time.

    Thanks for the comment!

  11. Dear Ken,

    Nobody has ever heard of you and nobody really gives a crap what you think.

  12. Have seen three movies in the past 20 years. They all stunk. Won't be back.
    If a foreign power did to America what you Hollywood types have done over the past 40 years, it would be considered an act of war.

  13. carlito,

    I humbly apologize for interrupting your day and forcing you to use on every sentence, you massively unimportant toad.


  14. PacRim Jim,

    Thanks for the comment, though I'm not exactly a Hollywood type; never been west of the lovely town of Devine, TX, that I can recall.

    But I do agree that as a nation, Hollywood has done us no favors the past 40 or so years. Still - Braveheart, Tombstone, The Usual Suspects, etc - there have been some great flicks in the last two decades. Don't give up completely.

    Thanks for reading and for the comment.


  15. I know most people who say, they will longer watch so-and-so's movies, don't really mean it. I've made this vow a number of times myself. But then a good movie comes along... and well. This is Hollywood. It is always just one hit away from going back into the black.

  16. Anonymous,

    I think we just need to be good consumers and carefully choose where our money goes. As a favorite former econ prof of mine used to say, "You vote with your dollars. If you vote for shoddy products then companies will produce shoddy products. If you vote for quality, then you will get quality.

    She was right.

    Thanks for the comment.



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